Grief and Loss

Losing someone or something you care deeply about is very painful. You may experience a range difficult emotions, pain and sadness and it may seem as if these will never let go. Grief is the emotional response to the loss of a loved one, however any loss can cause grief. This includes divorce or a breakup of a relationship, loss of a job, health, friendship, a dream, death of a pet. More significant the loss is more it will impact us, therefore we often associate grief with the death of a loved one because often this type of loss does cause the most intense grief. 

Grieving is a very personal experience and everyone grieves differently. There is no simple format to this and there are many contributing factors, such as your life experience, the nature of the loss and your personality and so on.

There are some common grief reactions however and they include; feeling emotionally numb, feeling unable to believe the loss occurred, anger, sadness, guilt, fear and feelings of anxiety, feeling of acceptance. Sometimes there maybe physical symptoms such as nausea, fatigue, changes in weight, unexplained aches and pains, insomnia, you may cry a lot.

Normal grief does not need to be treated, there is no normal timetable for how long the healing takes and it cannot be forced or rushed. Some people start feeling better in weeks or months, others take years, so it is important to be patient.

Grief has many stages and  everyone goes through all of them, although it is helpful to know that all of these reactions are quite natural. Although it is useful to be aware of these generalised stages, we all heal in our own unique way and therefore there is no typical response to loss. Each loss is unique to the person experiencing it. The way each one of us grieves is as unique as each one of us is unique.

Over time the feelings of grief become less intense as you accept the loss and start moving forward in your life.

If you are not feeling better or your feelings of grief are getting worse or the pain of the loss is so constant and severe that it keeps you from going on about your life disturbing your daily life and your relationships, this may indicate that your grief has developed into a problem, such as complicated grief or depression.

It is not often easy to distinguish between a grief and depression since both share many symptoms, however there are differences;

• • Grief involves variety of feelings that go up and down, but you will have moments of happiness.

  • Feelings associated with depression, such as emptiness and despair in the other hand are consistent. Other symptoms that may suggest depression rather than grief include; thoughts of suicide or a preoccupation with dying, feelings of hopelessness, slow speech and body movements, intense feelings of guilt, feeling as if all joy has gone from your life, inability to function at work and/or home and so on. 

If you are overcoming a loss of a loved one, you may regret or feel guilty about things that you did or did not do, about what you said or did not say. You may feel guilty of feeling certain things, such as relief if a person died after a long illness, or guilty of not doing something to prevent the death even when there was nothing else you could have done.

Therapy can be helpful by addressing the thoughts and feelings that go with grieving and it can help you bring closure and completeness to any unfinished business.

You may feel worry and fear of what will happen in the future, fears about your own health and your immune system may be lowered.  You may need help you rediscover your forgotten inner strengths and resources and your natural positive outlook and it can help you focus toward future.